Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Infidelity: It's the New Monogamy!

These are trying times for the Seventh Commandment.

First, the Spitzer soap-opera -- the most shocking yet entertaining sex scandal in recent memory.

Then, the McGreevey allegations of two days ago -- as if New Jersey refused to be outdone by New York State's pornodrama -- that Jim and Dina had three-ways with a former (male) aide.

And now, just when we were consoling ourselves with the appointment of a stable, straight-arrow, legally blind replacement governor for New York State, it turns out that he, too, was getting it on the side, having a 2 to 3 year fling (but who's keeping count?) with a mistress during a "rough patch" in the marriage.

Giving me a special feeling of proximity as Paterson and his f#@*buddy were doing it in my nabe, at the ultra-classy Days Inn, on Broadway and 94th Street.

Kinda of down-market from the Mayflower Hotel in DC, wouldn't ya say?

And evidently, saving our new guv about $80K, as he was getting it for free.

What a difference a day makes. Yesterday morning, we were blissfully ignorant and now, everybody knows. Nor did it take long for the news to get out. Following his inauguration, in a premptive strike against the inevitability of the press ferreting out this little bit of sleaze, Paterson decided to come clean.

Put it out there.

Stop the rumors dead on their feet.

And as if to even the playing field -- and remove Michelle Paterson from the victimhood of, say, Silda Wall Spitzer -- the Patersons fessed up to her having fooled around as well.

Hate to say it, but I'm a bit skeptical about this.

However, as quickly as I can say, "hand me my bra, that's my husband coming up the steps!" the press will find Paterson's galpal and, if it is true, Ms. Paterson's boytoy.

But, screw New York State and its unzipped legislators.

What I am really waiting for is the lowdown on the alleged three-ways that took place between McGreevey, his "deceived" wife Dina and the stud-muffin Ted Pedersen, their "Friday Night Specials."

I want proof, which shouldn't be hard to track down. And details. I actually would like to know who did what to whom.

Such as…was there any DP?

Now, this is a scandal worth following. For one thing, the players are actually attractive, people you might fantasize about having a three-way with.

For another, the McGreevey scenario truly qualifies as kinky while Spitzer's dalliance is cliched and Paterson's Days Inn affair is just about the most pathetic -- and least erotic -- thing I can imagine.

Anyhoo, the next few days promise to be extra-titillating as further details emerge on the Patersons and McGreeveys.

While the dutifully monogamous, married American public tuning into this schmutz is left to wallow in its extreme dullness

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