Red Hot Chili Mess

File this under really sucky karma.

While visiting Spin's website half an hour ago, I learned that the Red Hot Chili Peppers' American concert tour was FREAKING POSTPONED because Anthony FREAKING Kiedis broke his FREAKING foot.

The reason I am freaking out is because I had two FREAKING tickets to the January FREAKING 25th concert in Charlotte, FREAKING North Carolina for me and Little Babe.

Moreover, just this Monday, I sent a FREAKING article proposal to a major FREAKING publication to do a road-trip article. I also spoke with the RHCP's FREAKING press agent in LA. I am attaching said proposal below.

Adding insult to injury (oy, now I have to get my plane tix refunded and hotel refunded and concert tickets refunded) the new FREAKING concert date is April 6th, which has the distinction of being not only the FREAKING first night of Passover BUT also Friday night, aka SHABBAT.

To paraphrase John Goodman, I am "Shomer Freaking Shabbos!" and that presents one FREAKING problem for me.

In other words, I cannot go on April 6th. In other words, I have to see if there are available tickets elsewhere. In other words, I want to run screaming down Amsterdam Avenue.

At this moment, I do not want to ruin Little Babe's day so I'll wait to share the news with him when he returns home.

In the meantime, there's probably a story in this....

And I am really sorry, TMZ, for using your picture without permission. I'm just really freaking out.

Oh, and here's my article pitch:

On January 25th, I will be attending the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert in Charlotte, NC with my 16-year-old son, a rock musician. Yes, we are journeying from Manhattan to Charlotte for this show. Yes, I am taking him out of his private school for two days. Yes, everyone thinks I am a terrible mom with an age-inappropriate crush on a rock band.  

My proposed article deals with my belated awakening to the RHCP through the fandom of my son Judah, now renamed Jude in his too-cool-for-school adolescent phase of life. I only started listening to their music in earnest two summers ago, after Judah returned from a teen trip to Israel where his friend Joe Teglasi turned him on to their music. 

Suddenly, my classical cello-playing kid had taught himself electric guitar and bass and heretofore unheard songs filled our Morningside Heights apartment: "Aeroplane," "Soul to Squeeze," "Wet Sand," "Dosed," "Otherside." The serious fascination with the Peppers started, for me, when he played Stadium Arcadium (the double album, not the song) for me and now I am a full-fledged fanatic who runs four miles every day to their music, sings their songs at Karaoke bars, cooks to their music, belts out their songs while driving and analyzes their lyrics as I would a literary text...or page of Talmud.  

I am riveted by their harmonies, their personalities and the evolution of their band. I thought I would not survive the 2009 departure of John Frusciante but Josh Klinghoffer has filled the void. As a contemporary of Anthony Kiedis and Flea, I want to talk with them about turning 50.  

Though I do not think that "I'm With You," their latest album, is anything approaching a masterpiece, there are moments of RHCP transcendence therein. As with all enduring romances, I continue to love the band despite the disappointing tracks. In the course of my article, I hope to identify just what I find so compelling about the Peppers' music. I also intend to capture a phenomenon that is specific to my generation of parents, namely, our willingness to be influenced by the culture of our kids. My RHCP road trip is a manifestation of intergenerational cultural openness that simply did not exist in my parents' generation. The prospect of my mom and dad inspired to attend a Talking Heads, Ramones, Squeeze or even an Elton John concert with me is an hilarious thought. 

I intend my Peppers piece to be culturally compelling, lively and insightful, "On the Road" meets "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle" meets "Thelma and Louise," minus the drugs, sex, female bonding and death. But mom/teen son bonding will be part of this story. In advance of my trip, I reached out to the RHCP's press agent in LA who tells me he can get me an interview with the band after the show...with an assignment from a solid publication. 

What I am proposing is an offbeat, funny, touching and thoroughly memorable mother/son road trip to the Red Hot Chili Peppers January 25th concert in Charlotte, NC, complete with photographs and possibly video from the concert for the website. With advance planning, we should be able to videotape my interview with them, which would also include my son. 

I hope you think that the NAME BLOCKED OUT is a good venue for such a piece of writing.