Monday, September 24, 2007

So, what do Britney Spears and Lee Bollinger Have in Common?

It was supposed to be BritBrit's comeback performance at MTV's Music Video Awards ceremony earlier this month, the show-stopping dance number for her new single Gimme More that would put an end to the endless tabloid trashing of the Pop-Tart.

It was supposed to be BoBo's career-making moment earlier today, the world premiere of Gimme Mahmoud, the biggest, baddest and boldest move a university president had ever undertaken, a tactic that would prove so brilliant that it would make Harvard rue the day it rejected him as president. It was a counterintuitive and thoroughly post-modern seduction strategy.

Instead, poor, incompetent Britney found herself at the receiving end of a tsunami of media criticism and ridicule and today's MTV (Meshuggeneh Talking Vile) performance at Columbia's Lerner Hall hosted by the Bo-Man has largely been hailed as an exercise in failure by bloggers, pundits, observers and journalists alike.

Yes, there are some well-scripted soundbytes delivered by the white-tressed Columbia president that will live on in cyberspace and have the ring of J'accuse. And there are those who give the Big LeeBoskie high grades for his harsh dressing down of AhmadI'msickofevensayinghisname in his introductory comments.

Still...the misguided decision to grant a public forum to a world leader who is a Holocaust-denier, has the chutzpah to claim that homosexuality doesn't exist in Iran (that's right...homos are killed when they are outed), making a bizarre claim that some people blame the Palestinians for the Holocaust, chews out Bo-Bo for his lack of good manners and attempts to portray Iran as a pro-feminist, peace-loving nation is dangerous through and through.

If you think I'm being hyperbolic, read the comments on by readers or hear from some of the students at Columbia who felt that their minds were opened by coming to hear Ahmadinejad. Inviting this maniac to speak at Columbia sullies the university. It is an act akin to the desecration of a holy temple.

I have this little suspicion, though, that the judgment-impaired LeeBo is probably so pumped right now that he's camped out in the corridor of his mansion on Morningside Drive -- where we take Alfie the Pomeranian to poop daily -- just waiting for the phone to ring.

Freshly-showered. LeeBo will keep Harvard waiting when it finally works up the nerve to make the call. He will let the phone ring five, six, seven, eight, nine times. Then, just on the brink of the tenth ring, he'll pick up the receiver, say hello with studied nonchalance and pretend to check his calendar for about half an hour when Harvard asks him out.

Of course, he'll go to bed on the first date.

Well, I guess one good thing came out of the Columbia carnival today and that is that the appearance distracted Mahmadman from his To-Do list, where written in extra-big block letters are the words: Wipe Israel Off Map. For his forgetfulness, I breathe a deep sigh of relief for I am watching the Manhattan madness unfold from a quiet hilltop on the outskirts of Jerusalem, City of Gold.

Little Babe and I arrived in Israel about eight hours ago. Since that time, I have spent most of my time working feverishly, punctuating e-mail, research and phone conferences with visits to the Internet to read up on The End of Days at Lerner Hall.

When I spoke with him two hours ago, HOBB was breathless, describing the frenzy of the day... and its horror as well. A professor of journalism, he dispatched his students to cover the story of Ahmadinejad at Columbia. They created a blog for the event,

Uh... guys? A president visits? Not only is that lame but isn't that a huge insult to, like, regular presidents?

Watching Bollinger introduce today's event, I thought of Britney, tottering around on stage, lip-synching, twittering to herself, raising suspicions that she was on something.

Watch LeeBo's mouth and body-language when he lobs his Hardball questions at MahAh.

It looks like he's lip-synching.

Or hoping that Harvard is watching.

Or on something.

Coming Soon: The Leave LeeBo Alone video.

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